“Magenta…that’s what I call it when I get that way. All kinds of feelings tumbling all over themselves. Well you know, you’re not quite blue, because you’re not really sad. And although you’re a little bit jealous you wouldn’t say you’re green with envy. And every now and then you realize you’re kind of scared but you’d hardly call yourself yellow… I hate that feeling. Just hate it. And I hate the color magenta. That’s why I named it that. Magenta. No way to really explain it but, fortunately between friends you don’t have to.” ~ Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls
It’s been a rough day for me so this will be short because I’m forcing myself to write in an effort to maintain what little sanity I have left. OK, that’s an exaggeration but it doesn’t feel like much of one at this point.
As many of you who know me know, I suffer from
All that being said, I am medicated so I’m not going to run around The City naked trying to shake hands with my feet. The meds keep me stabilized to a point but I still have what I call ‘
Unfortunately, it means that I have to deal with days like today when everything just feels like it’s going to shit. It’s not, of course, but when you’re moving from mania and feeling like you could conquer the world to
Now, don’t worry: I’m not suicidal or going to do anything stupid, it’s just a state of mind and over the years, I’ve learned to see the signs that the cycle is coming and just ride the wave when it hits and that’s what I’ve been doing today. Tomorrow will probably be better after a good night’s sleep. I can’t say that for sure, but here’s hoping (and it usually is).
So thanks for being here, Sprites. And thanks for listening to my ramblings. You’re good kids.